FND, The Fawn Response & The Body’s Call for Safety.
What's Happening in Your Body When People-Pleasing Becomes Physical
Have you ever wondered why being "the nice one" or "the helpful one" leaves you so exhausted? Or why, despite doing everything "right" in relationships, your body seems to be rebelling with symptoms doctors can't explain?
You're not alone. Many women experiencing Functional Neurological Disorder (FND) share a common pattern that rarely gets discussed in neurologists' offices: the fawn trauma response.
Let me break down this connection in simple terms.
First, What Is FND?
Functional Neurological Disorder involves real physical symptoms—like seizures, tremors, weakness, or numbness—that can't be explained by standard medical tests. Your brain scans look normal, your bloodwork comes back fine, yet the symptoms are undeniably real.
FND affects about 4-12 people per 100,000, and importantly, about 75% of those diagnosed are women. This isn't a coincidence.
What Is the Fawn Response?
The fawn response is a trauma response (like fight, flight, or freeze) where you automatically accommodate others to stay safe.
It looks like:
Reading others' emotions before your own
Saying yes when you mean no
Feeling responsible for others' feelings
Freezing when asked what YOU want or need
Maintaining hypervigilance to keep everyone happy
This pattern often develops in childhood but can become so automatic you don't even realize you're doing it. It just feels like "who you are."
How Chronic People-Pleasing Alters Brain-Body Communication
The link between fawning and neurological symptoms isn’t abstract. It shows up in the brain. It shows up in the body. And it follows three powerful mechanisms:
1. Split Attention: When Protection Overrides Presence
Imagine your nervous system like a computer running two parallel programs:
Program One: Scanning others’ emotions, predicting needs, preventing conflict
Program Two: Managing internal states—digestion, breath, balance, emotion, movement
In people-pleasing survival states, Program One dominates. And as a result, Program Two is constantly interrupted.
This split attention isn’t just psychological—it alters brain function.
Neuroimaging in FND shows disrupted connectivity between key networks involved in:
Emotional regulation
Movement control
Interoception (body awareness)
These are the exact same networks impacted by chronic appeasement and hypervigilance.
2. Body-Brain Disconnection: The Cost of Overriding Yourself
Each time you dismiss hunger, override fatigue, or ignore discomfort to please others, your brain learns to tune out your internal cues.
Over time, this creates interoceptive dysfunction—a breakdown in the feedback loop between the body and the brain.
When the brain no longer receives accurate data from the body, it can no longer regulate it properly. This often manifests as:
Functional weakness or numbness
Dissociative seizures
Sensorimotor symptoms
Digestive or sensory dysregulation
This isn’t imagined. It’s a neurological response to long-term self-abandonment.
3. Contradictory Stress: When Suppression Becomes Somatic
The act of silencing your truth creates real physiological tension.
Your system stays caught between two opposing drives:
Activation: Detecting a social or emotional threat
Inhibition: Suppressing your response to maintain connection or avoid conflict
It’s like driving with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. The system burns out.
Studies show that over 85% of FND patients report high stress or relational strain before symptom onset—most involving moments where their authentic needs couldn’t be expressed safely.
Why Women Are More Vulnerable to This Pattern
Women aren't born people-pleasers. But many of us are raised to:
Prioritize others' comfort over our own
See anger as unacceptable or "unfeminine"
Derive worth from being helpful or accommodating
Fear conflict or abandonment if we express needs
We're socialized to override our authentic responses from an early age, creating the perfect conditions for this fawn-FND connection to develop.
A fascinating cross-cultural study found that in societies with stricter gender expectations for women, rates of functional disorders are significantly higher.
What This Means for Healing
Understanding the fawn-FND connection offers new pathways for healing that go beyond traditional treatments.
When you recognize that neurological symptoms may be connected to chronic override of your authentic self, you can approach healing by:
Rebuilding body awareness: Learning to recognize and trust your internal signals again
Practicing authentic expression: Starting with small, safe moments of expressing your true needs or feelings
Regulating your nervous system: Using techniques that help resolve the contradictory stress state
Addressing the root trauma: Working with the original experiences that taught you that pleasing was necessary for safety
This isn't about blaming yourself for your symptoms. It's about recognizing that your body might be telling you something important: that constantly abandoning yourself for others isn't sustainable, and that reclaiming your authentic voice might be essential for your neurological health.
What Real Healing Looks Like
Sarah, a client with non-epileptic seizures, noticed her episodes often happened after forcing herself to agree to something that felt wrong. Through our work together, she learned to:
Recognize the physical sensations that preceded her "yes" when she meant "no"
Create breathing space before responding to requests
Start with small, low-risk moments of authentic expression
Build a support system that validated her right to have needs
Within six months, her seizure frequency had decreased by 70%. More importantly, she described "feeling at home in my body for the first time."
This doesn't mean FND is "just" psychological. It means the mind-body connection is real, powerful, and a pathway to healing that many women haven't been offered.
Next Steps: Where Your Healing Begins
Understanding the connection between people-pleasing and neurological symptoms is more than insight—it’s a turning point. Here’s where you can begin:
🔹 Take the First Step with Free Education
→ [The Roles That Protected Us – Free Nervous System Course]
Learn how early survival roles shaped your nervous system—and why patterns like fawning aren’t your fault, but your body’s best attempt to stay safe.
🔹 Go Deeper with “The Pleaser’s Pattern”
→ [The Pleaser’s Pattern – A Somatic Breakthrough Course]
Explore the biology of appeasement, the cost of chronic override, and somatic practices to reclaim your voice, your body, and your boundaries.
🔹 For FND & Chronic Symptoms
If you’re experiencing symptoms like seizures, numbness, or fatigue without a clear medical explanation, explore our blog series:
→ [Somatic Illness & Survival Series]
Understand the science behind FND, allostatic load, and dorsal collapse—and how somatic psychotherapy supports your recovery.
🔹 Not Ready to Dive In?
Start small. Begin noticing when you override your needs. Track sensations before you say “yes.” Practice tiny moments of truth in safe spaces. Healing doesn’t demand perfection—it asks for presence.
With warmth and healing, Shalini x
References:
McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews, 87(3), 873–904.
Evans, G. W., Li, D., & Whipple, S. S. (2013). Cumulative risk and child development. Psychological Bulletin, 139(6), 1342–1396.
Luecken, L. J., & Appelhans, B. M. (2006). Early parental loss and cortisol stress responses in young adulthood: The moderating role of family environment. Development and Psychopathology, 18(1), 295–308.
Juster, R. P., McEwen, B. S., & Lupien, S. J. (2010). Allostatic load biomarkers of chronic stress and impact on health and cognition. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 35(1), 2–16